Element of Surprise
by 3y3ball
Summary: When Jay and Spinner are back for the new year, how will Emma deal? Will she find it in her heart to forgive one of the most hated guys at Degrassi? Jemma
1. Back In the Saddle Again

First day of school. It's always amazing and indulging to hear all of the fawning over everyone's new looks and clothes, who they share classes with, and rejoice with friends. For me, however, it isn't the same anymore. Not this year. I'm not so worried about appearence or my schedule. Well, I am, but not in the same way that my peers were engrossed with it. Sure, that was always the fun part of a fresh start, but people saw me in a new limelight than they had in previous years. If I could make it through this one day, and everything for the past was indeed done and over with, I would surive this entire ordeal.

My mistakes last year had given me the reputation of the year. I remember the moment in time when Rick leveled the gun in his hand towards me like it was yesterday. Apparently, so did everyone else. Well, they at least remember what they heard; Emma Nelson, nearly shot, but miraciously saved by hero Sean Cameron. I was the talk of the school at that point, and so was Sean. He was the one person I could really talk to about the shooting. He had been there; even defended me against the barriers of life and death. Sean left that first Monday back at school, for Wasaga. For his parents. It was clearly understandable. I should have been elated that he had finally buried the hatchet between he and his parents, but I wasn't. Maybe it was just me being selfish, only thinking of my needs, not anyone else. I should have even seen it coming. Of course his parents would come to play in his life; they had to eventually. It was just that one of the few times I needed to talk to someone, that someone was gone. I had always considered seeking out Toby, but he never had really struck me as someone who I could open up to. I mean, he was just Toby. He was the only one who come close to a friendship with the "psycho", so close it was almost tangible. And I? Well, the relationship I had with Rick was...nothing. Perhaps that's why I never saw an immediate connection with my friend. I guess because he was always so closed up on the situation just made me want to turn away from him.

Things had settled down after a bit. Until, of couse, Jay came along. He hadn't meant anything to me. I mean, just because I went in to the the accoutred van with him didn't change a thing. A person like Jay didn't have the capacity for emotion in his heart. It was all imprecation and abuse. I always had wondered whether he had grown up in an inflictive environment or not. With the way he treated others though, I saw that as the only explanation for his tirading. Why he gave attention to me though, "Greenpeace", the person not a year ago he couldn't stand, was mind boggling. As much as I may hate to say it, I enjoyed the engrossment he had for me, if one could call it that. It was so diverse compared to the stares and silent accusations I got everyday, just walking through the Degrassi hallways. He didn't care about any of that. I liked that in him. The fact that he, bad-boy Jay Hogart, wanted to be with me was liberating, and in a way, I wanted to prove I wasn't everything that I now hated. Ms. Save the World. I was so childish back then, promoting environmentally-safe toilet seats, when I was completely ignorant to the larger happenings in the world. I guess being faced with a life-or-death situation is all it took to open my eyes. Gee, nothing to it.

But once I found out I was sick, I knew I couldn't continue doing what I was doing. I couldn't possibly want someone that much, even if that one guy was exactly what I needed.

Don't get me wrong though. For the standpoint that everyone saw it at, it all sounds so sudden. I guess no one ever really considers that Wasaga had been the first juncture between us, and that all of it wasn't always about Sean. When we arrived, Sean had first driven us to his parents house. Jay and I hung around by his Civic, just talking. Small-talk only, really; anything else would have just been inconceivable. Even when Sean was talking to Ellie before hopping on the jet-ski, we just sat in the grainy sand, not saying much, but it was something. We had achieved the impossible, a tolerance of each other. I just never thought that tolerance would escalade into what it had.

This year I wanted to avoid all of the rumors. I didn't want to be the Manny replica again. I could only hope that I would be old news, something that had happened, but no one really cared about anymore. With the exception of Chris' routine insinuations, my hopes were coming true. Everyone seemed to be so preoccupied in their own new tidbits from the summer that didn't give me the same belitting attention like last year. For the first time in awhile, I actually walked in to school with a smile on my face. Dad would be proud if he saw me right now. And my mom would actually be able to think about something other than my drastic changes. Things couldn't be that bad afterall.

I had to go see the principle for something or other. I wasn't told what exactly, just directed by Snake to see her promptly. It was probably just to inquire me on the S.I.T.E. program, something that I had pretty much omitted from my worries. The hallways were packed as usual, and getting to the office proved to be difficult with the line of students protruding out of main office. It was nice not having to be alone with my thoughts all of the time now. This was school, and I would just concentrate on that. None of the other crap that would typically occupy my time, like worrying. Lately, that seemed all I had been capable of. There were moments when I was laughing at was happy, and I tried to focus on those times and those times only, but it was hard.

My thoughts of relief could only stand for so long though.

When I locked eyes with that special someone, everything came at a torrent again. Toby had told me that he and Spinner would be returning this year after their expulsion, and would be in our graduating class. Everyone had heard about the expulsion, and what had really happened behind the scenes. No one had ever confirmed the rumors though; apparently the two "convicts" had refused to talk about whatever is was that had happened. That one point in time last year was probably the only one when the school still wasn't chastising me for my misguided exploits. Now, however, they could talk about our special reunion. Great.

To be truthfully honest, I was surprised that Degrassi had let them come back. Sure, I'd known that the rest of the people who were in anyway connected to Jimmy, or just plain ol' cared, would give them more hell then ever. Which, in a way didn't make me feel alone in my hostile feelings towards them; mostly towards Jay. In way, it just gave me more of a reason to hate him even more.

He was sitting outside the principle's office, body slumped down in the wooden-backed chair, with his partner in crime in the seat next to him. I froze in mid-step watching him, and he too seemed to be transfixed on me. I didn't expect it to be this hard. Maybe it was the same attire that he had worn for the past two years that had caught my attention in the first place, and reminded me of the past. I noticed as my breathing became more intense, but dismissed that thought. Casually looking the other way, I focused my attention on getting to homeroom, skipping my meeting with Ms. Hatzilakos entirely, and kept walking. Why was this suddenly so hard? At the end of the year during my sophmore year, I had finally gotten over my "inexcusable demeanor," as Snake had so eloquently put it, and so did everyone else. At the time, I'd just been relieved to have the attention off of me. I simply figured it was about time after having to endure theperiod of guilt and cruelty. By then, it was too late since the school year was practically over. Now, I got to start the school year off on a bad foot, with the spotlight redirected towards me once more, with the reunion of Jay and Spinner sure to be the new catergory on the Wheel of Gossip.

I just had to stay positive. I would hardly ever see him, and when I did, it would be nothing.

Absolutely nothing.


	2. Guess Who's Back?

Degrassi. My old definition of hell, but this year I had to change. After Spin and I got expelled, I wasn't so agitated by it, I mean, it was only school; something I always had sucked at. After Spin tried to torch the school and went sappy trying to get his friends back, taking summer school courses to help for make up for our lost year, I decided to jump on the bandwagon. I had nothing left to lose, really. So I joined the summer classes with my supposed friend, and even got a job with the The Dot working on the Degrassi set for whatever movie they were shooting there. To keep a long story short, I needed the cash, and it gave me something other to do then sit around my dump of a house.

Here I was, in the old, rickety chair that I had left my stamp on, wondering what the hell I had gotten into this time. It would have been easy enough to skip out on this entire gauntlet. Part of the deal to coming back to Degrassi was that A. I had no freedoms, and B. I would be monitered by none other than Mr. Simpson who would not only make sure that I was fulfilling my terms of averaging a C and helping out with odds and ends around the school, just like I promised. I didn't really pay that much attention to any of the lectures I was given that morning, the warning countenance on Ms. Hatzilakos' face. I really just didn't care. The principle sent us outside of her office so she could talk to a few other students that were what one would consider one of those rational kids that rarely screwed up. I guess there was some sort of last minute details she had to work out or something.

I lifted my head up out of the chair's headrest from counting the ceiling tiles, which as I found out wasn't really pleasant on the neck. I drew my hand to the back of my neck and shoulders to try and alleviate some of the pressure, when I saw her. She was just standing there, but ten feet away, staring at me. The look on her face was priceless, but I didn't have the will to laugh. Instead, I just stared back, watching every movement she made until she finally snapped out of the trance we had been sucked into. Even as she tried to pretend I wasn't sitting here by merely glancing down every five seconds, which, might I add, was a dead giveaway that she was nervous, I still followed her fidgeting. Well, maybe she wasn't exactly nervous; more like wanting to die, with the expression she had when she first saw me.

I could feel my comrade next to me watching us, his head pivoting back and forth, wondering what I had suddenly taken an interest in.

"Uh..dude?" he said, waving his hand in front of my eyes as she walked away, "you okay?'"

I simply nodded a yes, and gave him a "doesn't matter" look, before looking back down again. Spinner wouldn't know the difference anyways.

"Mr. Mason, Mr. Hogart, you may come back in now." Ms Hatzilakos told us as we dragged ourselves up.

"Now that you both are back, there are conditions. One screw up," she paused, her eyes glancing back and forth between the two of us, "and I mean one, and you both will be out... for good."

At this Spinner eagerly nodded. I didn't know why exactly he was so hyped up about this. Oh yeah, now I remember; he wanted his old friends back. I didn't exactly want to spoil his great mood, but I knew it was a very slim chance that everyone would find forgiveness for him. Me? I didn't really care either way. Not like I had much of a support-system here anymore. After the ravine business came out into the open, things had only gone downhill.

"You both will start by going to your respective homerooms, and I will check with all of your teachers that you are doing your school work and maintaning your C average, as well as participating," she emphasized greatly now shifting her gaze mostly to me, "in your extra-curricular activites."

I could tell this school was going to be everything I had imagined. I knew this year was going to be bad, with Spin's complaining, teachers always on my ass, and the spiteful glares in the hallways, but all of this shit she was putting us through was only egging on the temptation to just get up and go. It would be so easy to just walk right out that door.

"You may go now," she finished, returning to the stack of papers on her desk.

As I checked my schedule, Spin brought the sheet of paper that was handed to him, and brought it next to mine, matching up our classes together. We had homeroom and Kwan's class, but that was it. Which meant I would be alone for the rest of the day.

We walked down the hallways, with Spinner looking like he would die of the shame he got from the passerbys. I wanted to shake all of that out of him; just grab him by the shoulders and tell him it wasn't our fault. I knew though, no matter how hard I tried, he would always reprehend himself, putting all of the anguish on him, and no one else. Didn't he remember that it was the freak who had brought the gun to school and tried to shoot everyone? It was pathetic really. I was beginning to thing that I was the only sane one between the two of us, which, in some opinions was something to laugh at.

Finding homeroom wasn't hard. We were placed in the MI lab, my absolute favorite. I could tell I would be Simpson's darling this year, because he loved me that much. You know, I was always the one to be called a brown-nose or what not. I sighed and shook my head, walking in the familiar backrow across the room, until I stopped, well, more like commanded to halt in my tracks.

"Up here boys!" Simpson pointed to the front row, right next to where he loved to stand to lecture us, and just looked at me, this weird smile spread across his face. This was great. This could be the payback that he wanted from me; there was no doubt he had found out what had happened. I sat down, threw my bag beside me, and looked up, scanning the room. I didn't get very far in my canvas; right across from me was an open-mouthed blonde, looking right in my direction. I wanted to rub my eyes, or even steal someone's glasses just to make sure I was seeing clearly. There was no doubt who I was looking at. Directly across from me, was none other than Emma Nelson.

Unbeliveable.


	3. Moving Along

**Author's Note:** This chapter is kind of rough around the edges. I'm still trying to figure out where I want to take this story yet. Any ideas are appreciated. )

If I was forced to say something, I probably would have just kept my trap shut. I knew something completely lucid, or something illiterate would sputter out of my mouth, and I figured I'd save myself the humiliation. My jaw hung there in midair as if it had been pried open, shamelessly gaping. There was nothing to say even, but then again, I didn't really want to make the effort to try. Why was _he_ was in _my_ class? My mind silently protested over and over again, refuting itself until I didn't know what to believe or think, so I just gave up. It did make sense; he was in eleventh grade again, my grade. Why then did he too seemed just as surprised as I was, giving me the same confounded stare I was him? For a few minutes it just stayed like that, until I realized that we were holding a stare-down. Regaining control of bodily funtions, I snapped my jaw shut, only to have that form a thick line of distrust. I broke the gaze that was held, and tried not to notice as he promptly looked towards the window, pretending not to notice me whatsoever. He was such a fake, that it really was truly pathetic. This was all of his fault. If he hadn't been there with open arms last year, if he hadn't been ratted out, if he had just left things alone, we, more so _I_, wouldn't be in such a shitty situation.

The three of us were the only ones in the lab, with the exception for Snake, but the class was filling up. My hand reached for my bookbag, swiftly slinging it over my shoulder, and moved to the opposite side of the room so not only would I not have to be directly across from him, but would also not have to look at him. I could care less if I was in the front of the room (though I did get a better view of everything), I refused to be even remotely near him. Had Snake been delusional when seating him by me? Did the stress finally take its toll on him? He had known what went on last year, and had been none too happy with my actions. With the way he treated me those first few weeks afterwords, I was expecting it to be a madhouse between the two of them. Instead, he threw me for a complete loop by seating him practically right beside me. Was he encouraging some sort of berserk harmony between us? If he was, it was guaranteed, at least on my part, that it would never in a million years happen.

_Just a few minutes._ I figured if I continuously repeated this phrase, it would become my new epigram in untimely situations. Soon I would be out of here, on to Kwan's class. As I waited for the bell to ring, I unconsciencely tapped my pencil anxiously on the desk, listening to the conversation behind me. The words stung as I fully comprehended their meaning, but I let myself continue listening anyways. Part of me needed to hear the thoughts that so many had voiced with their facial expressions, but never words. Words were always something permanent; you couldn't erase them, and the worst of them always seemed to hang in history. Only now supposedly did the daft and the clueless actually have the guts to bring up the situation that had been carefully avoided. Afterall, no one wanted trouble. Any conflict between unacquainted people just didn't seem to make sense; their time was better spent elsewhere. But now that I was actually hearing the words that seemed inevitable, I wanted to shove them back into the respectful mouth. They really did hurt.

From what I could gather, it sounded like Spinner, but I couldn't really tell since they were far away. I only could catch a few tidbits of the conversation, just minuscule phrases, like yes's or no's, but then I heard, "What happened between you two? You seem beyond obsessed with her, and it looks like she _loves_ you too." I noted the sarcasm behind the comment, regretting my decision to listen in on them. In that instant, I could feel my face becoming flushed. It was bad enough with the ring of gossip about me last year, but the last thing I wanted was for something else to be spread around. Maybe everyone was experimenting with keeping a low profile this year, but it didn't help my case anymore. I needed for them to have rumors that were worse than mine. Maybe that was selfish of me, but hadn't I already suffered enough? I spent the last half of my sophmore year defending myself on something that wasn't really worth much estimation, and I had figured that was paying my debts well enough.

The laughter from him rung in my ears, as I listened to the muffled reply from his comrade. "Greenpeace? Are you serious? She's well... look at her!" The look of his face flashed before me even though I had my back to him. That signature smirk, accompanied by a look that probably made Spinner want to laugh in my face. I had seen it so many times, especically last year. What had I'd seen in him at all anyways? And why had I suddenly thought that this year things would be any different between us? All he'd wanted was a cheap girl, and I just happened to be the easiest fish to catch. I was insane to think that hiws ass would want to have anything to do with me besides that.

With a sigh, I returned to focusing on the announcements on the screen in front of me. Shame on me for ever expecting something worthwhile from a guy. They only wanted a good fuck buddy, not a quality relationship. Jay probably thought I was some fluke for reacting in the manner that I did in the hallway. I could almost hear what he was thinking; _"Wow she must really be that desperate."_ I'm sure he still goes down to the ravine hooking up with random girls. Whatever had once made me feel special with him was completely off in left field. I guess I really was off my rocket at that time when I "associated" myself with him like everyone had said. Until now, I had refused to believe their ideas that I really had been irrational because of the events with Rick and Sean. Apparently, Jay was all it took to show me the truth.

Not that any of that mattered now. This new revelation I found would let me be careless, and now I could help out Degrassi like I used to. I wouldn't be the screw-up this year, and now I didn't have a reason to be. That was all in the past. After half a year of being out of touch with friends and my life, I could get back in sync with the old Emma. The old me.

I left in a herd with the rest of the class as the bell rang, quick to notice Jay and Spinner lingering back conversing with my dad. My thoughts returned to the schedule ahead of me, my conscience reminding me of my severed ties with them. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, I never knew them.

"Hey _Emmaline_."

Turning around to the voice behind me, I smiled at the sight of Chester. Now here was someone who could brighten my day.


End file.
